Sunday, 8 October 2017

Drinking and Blogging 10/8/17

As I type this, I'm sitting in the Ottawa Airport drinking beer and watching my fantasy football teams "suck the hind banana".

I just finished a 2 week run at the Absolute Comedy clubs in Ottawa and Kingston. The clubs were great, and it was a really fun time. I got to visit with some family that I very rarely get to see, many of whom made the trip to Kingston to check out one of our shows, and I met some great comics and people as well.

I was going to write a hokey "What I'm Thankful For" blog, but honestly I got about half way through it, read it back, and decided that it sucked. Everyone that has ever read even one of my blogs knows I'm forever grateful to have my girlfriend Shaley in my corner, and that my friends and family are very supportive of what I'm doing. You don't need to read that stuff for the 100th time (101st, if you count this paragraph). So instead, I've decided to just ramble a little bit about what's going on in both my world, and the one we all hang out in, while I enjoy this delicious beer.


Like I mentioned, I was lucky enough to get a chance to perform at a couple of the famed Absolute Comedy clubs in Ottawa and Kingston (massive thank you to Mike Dambra for dropping my name and getting my foot in the door). The shows were incredible, and it was a lot of fun to get to work with some new comics and meet a bunch of new people. And it was great getting a chance to catch up with Shannon, who I haven't really seen since High School. Thanks for coming out!

I also used some of the down time out here to start designing my first potential business card. The feedback on it has been really positive!

Work in progress.
As fun as the shows were, the highlight of the entire run for me was getting to spend a day with my Grandma. I rarely get to see her, so I took advantage of the one day off I had out here and drove out to Trenton to visit with her, and the rest of my family. We had dinner at my Aunt and Uncles and caught up, and it was a really great night. Being a military kid, I moved away from most of my family at a very young age, and haven't had too many opportunities to see them over the last 25 years. So I really look forward to any chance I have to see any of them. Several of my Aunts and Uncles, along with some family friends, made it out to shows in Kingston as well, and I'm grateful for all of their support. Thanks to all of you, and I hope you had fun at the show(s)!

Away from comedy, I'm about 2 weeks out from my first tattoo appointment in 7 or 8 years. And I figured jump into the deep end, I'll be starting on a sleeve for my left arm. It's something I've wanted to do for a long time, but hesitated for 3 reasons:

1) My arms are skinny. But after 33 years, I've come to the conclusion they just aren't going to get much bigger.

2) I'm cheap.

and 3) I'm a pussy. Needles are the worst.

But I'm finally taking the plunge, and I'm really excited to get started. I think I've found the perfect artist for this project, and I think/hope it's going to turn out great. I'll post pics on here as it progresses, because I know that's the kind of stuff you all read this blog for, right? 😬

Me aside, shit has hit the fan in the rest of the world over the last 10 days or so. I try not to watch the news, because it focuses way too much on the negative for my tastes, but a couple stories have been impossible to get away from. First there was the "terrorist" incident in Edmonton, which obviously hits close to home. I don't understand how on Earth someone could do something like that, but at least nobody was killed, and the piece of shit behind it will face the music.

Then the Las Vegas shooting took place. I don't know what to say about it. Thoughts and prayers is the cliche, and obviously I wish all the victims and their families the best, but aside from that.....I don't know. I'm not perfect, and frankly sometimes I can be kind of an assshole, but I will never be able to comprehend how someone could kill another person. Much less 50+. Innocent people that are just out trying to enjoy life and have a good time. There's been a ton of debate about whether or not it should be classified as a "terrorist attack". Frankly, I don't care what you call it, it's a psycho being a psycho, and it's tragic. There's also been a lot of debate about guns since that night....

I posted a Facebook status myself, saying that I don't understand why on Earth anyone needs to own an automatic gun of any kind. It got some replies from different people, and it prompted me to comment that I don't agree with guns, period. I don't think they serve any real purpose, and I hate them. I stand by that comment. People brought up protection, and hunting, and I understand what they're saying. But it won't change my mind. Guns serve no purpose other than to kill whatever they're pointed at. And I hate them. I don't have an answer. I know it isn't as easy as simply making guns illegal. But just like people are entitled to their right to own and defend guns, I'm entitled to my right to speak out against them. I didn't post my status to start a debate about gun laws, but simply to voice my thoughts on what happened. I hope the people involved in this tragedy find peace, and they're able to, eventually, get on with their lives.

On a lighter note, hockey's back! Montreal is fucked. They will go as far as Carey Price can take them, which has pretty well been their story for the last 7 or 8 seasons. I'll watch when I'm home and they're on, but if the comedy plan stays on course, that won't be often.

Apparently Odell Beckham Jr just broke his ankle. Yikes.

Before I wrap this up, I want to mention that I have an SNES Classic waiting for me at home. I was lucky enough to snag a pre-order, and it arrived while I was in Ottawa. If you're one of the people buying things like this up just to re-sell it, you can go fuck yourself. I hope you get stuck with them, have to sell them for a loss, and you get pink eye.

That's it. I started this thing 3 beers ago, and now I feel great. I'm going to go play some Switch and wait for my plane.

Thanks for reading, and supporting me. Keep an eye out for an or something along the lines soon. I have a feeling something like that is going to pop up in the near future.

And for fuck sakes, be nice to each other. The last 14 days have proved that there are enough shitty people out there already.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Sunday, 1 October 2017

I Quit My Job Today (One Year Later) 10/1/17

I walked out of my day job on October 3rd, 2016. I wrote a blog about it, which you can find here:

As I type this, it's October 1st, 2017, 2 days short of one year later. When I wrote the blog above, I was excited to not have to go to a job I hated anymore, but I was really struggling with the idea of not having a regular job. It's funny, because even though I knew I was miserable at Uline, when I got out, I felt like a loser. 15 years of playing by the rules and pulling the 9-5 (or fucking 5am-whenever, like it was at Uline) had my mind programmed to think that was the only option.

I'm happy to say that 363 (or 364, is this a leap year? Daylight savings? The Illuminati?), not only have I adjusted to life after a normal day job, but I'm loving it.

I still have a day job. As I've mentioned in this blog before, my old friends at Pro Am Sports brought me back into the fold last Christmas after I left Uline, and I'm still there now. In a casual capacity, however. Whenever I'm in town, I work there and do whatever I can to help out, and they've been ridiculously accommodating of my increasing comedy schedule. It's really the best case scenario; a day job that I enjoy going to, but that still provides me the freedom to chase this crazy comedy dream.

As far as comedy goes, the last 12 months have been absolutely incredible. It doesn't seem real, to be honest. And while in the grand scheme of stand up, I haven't really accomplished anything yet, in my mind, I'm already living a dream. Anything else that comes along is gravy :)

I would say 50-60% of my monthly income is now comedy based. I'm really, sincerely, not motivated by money, but a guy has to eat. More and more weekends are filling up with paid shows and opportunities to perform in clubs and on shows, including a lot of out of town stuff, which is awesome. Be it Calgary, Kelowna, Regina, Cold Lake, or as I write this, I'm sitting in Ottawa, I'm getting paid to travel. That's something I've always dreamt of, but didn't think would ever happen.

(I know, I know. Regina? Cold Lake? It's a start, ok?)

I got to be in a movie that was shot in Edmonton. I still have no idea how that happened! I'd never experienced anything like that before. And while it isn't a Hollywood blockbuster, it was a REALLY cool experience. I even got to be in a fight scene with UFC fight "Cowboy" Cerrone! AND, he knocked me the fuck out! How many people can tell that story??

On the set of "Puppy Love" with Donald "Cowboy" Cerrone. I hope his elbow is ok....

And above everything else, I've made a ton of great friends. I can list on one hand the number of comics I've worked with that I haven't enjoyed being around. So many of the comedians in Edmonton have become very close friends, and every city I've had the opportunity to travel to has been full of more smiling, supportive comics that I've sincerely enjoyed meeting and working with. Just last weekend, I did a run through Saskatchewan with a comic from Calgary, Chris Gordon. Saturday night we were sitting at a pizza place in Regina after a great show and a lot of beer, and we just started talking about how fun this job is. It was a cool moment; realizing that my "job" is to tell dick jokes, laugh, drink beer and have fun. It's what I dreamed about doing when I was on my forklift last Fall.

If this blog comes across as a guy with an ego, just bragging about stuff that, again, on the World's comedy map isn't even a village on the side of the road, that's not my intention. But don't kid yourself, I'm proud of what I've done over the last year. I've decided, after 32 years, to chase a dream that I wish I'd gone after a long time ago. And to be honest, I feel like I've already achieved it. I'm a comedian. If I become a headliner someday, or fall into another movie, or end up at Just For Laughs, or anything else, it will just be icing on the cake. I'm doing what I want to do with my life, and I have fantastic friends and family supporting me. If that isn't the dream, I don't know what is.

Thank you to all the comedians and bookers that have given me opportunities to perform. I'm sincerely grateful for all the opportunities, and your friendship.

Thanks to Jack, Ken, and the guys at Pro Am for working with my schedule and being so accommodating to my stupid schedule. I hope you guys figure out football pick 'ems soon.

Thanks to my friends and my family for supporting me, and picking me up whenever I need it.

And most importantly, thanks to Shaley for being my rock. I would be a homeless train wreck without you. And I wouldn't have any material. I love you.

I can't wait to see what happens over the next 12 months. If it's even 1/2 as fun as this past year has been, it'll be a fantastic ride.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for supporting. Do what you want to do with your life, and have fun doing it.