But, like most of you, I'm stuck in my house for the foreseeable future, I'm bored, and I want to give a shout-out to my girlfriend and get some stuff off my chest. So if you have 2 minutes to kill (and you probably do), keep going.
This whole thing is crazy. It feels like a dream or something, doesn't it? The entire world is shutting down. A lot of us are making stupid jokes about it, myself included. And that'll continue. Prepare for show after show of comics telling Covid-19 and Corona jokes when this is over. But it's seriously scary shit. I was one of those people that wrote it off in the early days, saying stuff like it's just the flu, blah blah blah. But when everything started shutting down and you couldn't turn on the TV without a doctor telling you to stay home, I came around.
I'm not even in the high risk demographic. I think what clicked for me was people saying stuff like "You might not be worried about getting sick, but worry about the people YOU might make sick." I don't want to infect someone else. And honestly, the regular flu puts me on the shelf with my asthma, I don't have any interest in seeing what this virus would be like. So other than walking my dog, I'm just washing my hands, trying not to touch my face (which is WAY harder than I thought!), and staying inside like everyone else.
Except people that have to go to work. Obviously everyone working in the healthcare world deserve hero cookies, but so do everyone working in grocery stores and retail environments. Some people have bitched about how minimum wage is too high, but damned if they aren't earning every penny right now. I hope they get bonuses when this is over, and people start being nicer to them. If you're an asshole to the person bagging your groceries right now, you should be sent home hungry.
My girlfriend doesn't work retail, and she isn't a doctor, but she has to go to work this week. Over half of her staff is off sick or at home with kids now, and she's stepping up and carrying the ball. I'm really proud of her. She's a leader, and she's proving it right now when the chips are down. Luckily, she'll be able to work from home starting next week, which is awesome. But we're counting on her job and her income right now, and while I'm stuck at home talking about video games and playing with my dog, she's out there supporting us. She's awesome, I love her, and I'm very lucky she hasn't kicked me out yet.
My comedy calendar is as empty as every other comic's right now. There's bigger problems in the world than nobody being able to listen to my dumb jokes, but it still sucks. What bothers me the most is that since I quit my full-time day job a couple years ago, I've struggled with the feeling that I'm a dud that doesn't work. And it motivates me to work as hard as I can to book shows, get comedy dates and bring some money into the house. I was finally hitting a point where I was making enough to feel better about not driving a forklift anymore, and now it's all gone. Temporarily, anyway. And that sucks.
I'm fully aware that that's a first world gripe. There are people trying to figure out how to feed their kids, or they have jobs they have to go to when they don't want to instead of being able to stay home and be safe. Every person in that spot has it infinitely worse than I do. I sympathize with them, absolutely. But this isn't their blog to bitch in, it's mine.
And at the end of the day, I'm not even trying to bitch or whine. I like the hand I've been dealt in life. It just hurts to see your hard work start to pay off and then get taken away, but it's temporary. For me, for you, for everyone. We're all in this together, and when we get through it the afterparty is going to be fucking epic. Until then, wash your hands, hang out with your family, thank the person selling you groceries, and don't be an asshole.
Shay, if you're reading this, you're the best. Thank you for supporting me and Molly and doing what you do. We love you!
Thanks for reading, everybody. Stay safe!