As I type this, it's 5:50 pm on Wednesday, December 14th, 2016. I'm laying in my hotel room in Grande Prairie, and in 2 hours I'm going to perform my first 30 minute set of comedy.
I hope that a year from now, I can look back on this post and think, "30 minutes? That's nothing!"
January 21st of this year, I did my first set. It was 5 minutes long, and I memorized every word I was going to say. 5 minutes seemed like forever. Then a few months later, I did a 10 minute spot. I wrote every single joke I had down on my arm, just in case. It felt like half an hour. And now, almost 11 months after my first set, I'm actually going to do half an hour.
I like looking back on this past year, and the ride that has been stand up comedy. I've had my ups and downs, (luckily the ups WAY outnumber the downs), but it's been one of the most exciting years of my life. I think about comedy all the time. More than I want to, to be honest. When I wake up, I feel energized and excited. "Maybe I'll think of a killer new joke today". I (usually) can't wait to get on stage that night. Comedy feels like this thing inside of me, and it's taking over my brain. Some days I want to shut it out and get rid of it, but I can't.
I don't know if I believe in destiny. I think that for the most part, life is kind of meaningless. We don't really know why we're here, what we're supposed to do. 200 years from now, I think 99.9999% of people won't even be a footnote in the history of the world. I like that mentality. It's helped me control my temper, stay calm, and just enjoy life. There's no pressure. Just be happy, be a good person, and do whatever you want to do. Destiny means that something is supposed to happen. I don't like the idea that anyone's road through life is already mapped out. I think people decide their own fate, and how they're going to get there. You decide what the meaning of your life is. I don't know if comedy is my destiny, but even when I try to get away from it, it makes me feel better than anything else does.
It makes me happy. Even when it isn't going well, I feel like that's where I'm supposed to be. Being on stage is just comfortable. And when I combine that mentality with looking back on this ride, and how far I've come in 11 months, it makes me feel incredible. I can't wait to see what comes next. The universe lined up perfectly for me to try this, with my job, my lifestyle, where I live. I have the single most supportive girlfriend anyone could ever ask for.
I still don't know why I'm here. Or why anyone is here. But when you find the one thing you want to do with your life, the thing you can't stop thinking about, it changes the way you see the world. I'm a different person than I was 12 months ago.
January 21, 2016, I did 5 minutes of horrendous stand up comedy. I've worked really hard, and received a ton of help from people. December 14, 2016, I get to do 30 minutes of horrendous stand up comedy. I can't wait to see what I'm doing 11 months from now.
Thanks for reading my self-indulgent blog, and listening to my dumb jokes. I say it on here all the time, but you get one shot at life. Spend it doing what you want. And Shaley, I love you. Thanks for being so supportive of me :)
I have to go tell some jokes.